he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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