Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
