Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
