my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
