Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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