She announced her abortion via fbk
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
