Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
