I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
