it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize