I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
