I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
