I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
