GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
