They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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