we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Randomize
