Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
