"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
