I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
