Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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