College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
