One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Randomize
