May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
