so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
