I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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