and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
