WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
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