Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
not ubering you a puppy
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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