He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
