That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
