You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
