There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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