Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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