I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
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