seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
