people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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