if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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