When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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