Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
