Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
