dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
