she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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