hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
