well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
