shes about as inviting as chlamydia
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
