break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
