By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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