so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
