So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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