The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
