whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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